Time to randomly vent because I am without a cig to smoke for when i ponder upon life so here we go...
Boys:
I don't fucking understand you. At all. You all say girls are complicated.. bull shit. Boys cannot EVER just say things straight up. Like "hey i like you." No.. they have to be all "Never mind." or "It doesn't matter." Just say how you feel. Its not that difficult!
But speaking of "hey i like you"... I've had 5 boys within the last 4 days hint to me that they like me... WHAT IS GOING ON. Have you all lost it? Why me? Really I don't understand.. i know some girls say they don't "understand" for attention and so they can hear someone say.." its because your pretty and smart.."and blah blah whatever.. I mean it is nice to hear that, don't get me wrong. But, in this case i really don't understand why all these guys like me. Yeah, i'm relatively nice and polite and i know i'm not ugly. But, okay.... that's like 75% of the women population. And i'm not trying to sound full of myself or anything. Just... shit! Boys are so confusing. And its like okay... so, all these guys like me... But why can't the one boy i'm in love with and have been in love with for 3 years like me?
And speaking of the boy I've been in love with for 3 years. Yeah, still in love. Why, why, why? Can someone explain that to me as well? I mean I have this amazing boy that i met 3 months ago and that I am now dating but I'm still not happy... because of HIM. I haven't been happy since him... and why? I'm trying to figure out if its because he still has my heart or if its because I just don't ever want to give it away again. I don't fucking know.
But hey, here my plus side about my Boys subject:
1) I haven't thought about HIM as much.
2) Boys smell great.
3) I love wearing their clothes.
4) They sure can make you feel special when they want to.
5) They give great hugs.
<3
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Girls:
If your a slut i hate you.
Fake tanning makes you look like a fucking oompa loompa. No boys wants to fuck that.
Hair extensions are nasty. Take care of your nappy hair and maybe it will grow.
If you like to steal your best friends boyfriend, your a bitch and you should get hit.
<3
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Ryan Neumann:
Hey bro! Yeah, your fucking dumb.
Thanks for giving a shit about me. Do you realize you haven't talked to me in almost 2 months. Sad. You told me I was the most important person in your life and that "Family comes first." But, now i'm thinking when you said "Family" you meant "My stupid ass bike cult that thinks they are tight shit cause they own a motorcycle, helmet, and have a stupid name like 'Grunt'." Give me a call when your not too busy with your girlfriend or whatever that thing is your dating.
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Wow, I am a mega bitch today. Guess its the lack of nicotine in my system. Must get some soon. I am like super hungry but i'm not at the same time. My appetite has been weird lately.
I miss Reese. Like a lot. I feel like we are barely best friends anymore, and i don't like it. I guess its partly because of my mindset... I mean, I feel like I'm being replaced in a way. I don't feel very needed anymore. I feel like I'm just there. And I don't really like that she has a thing with Charlie... Yeah sure call me a bitch or selfish... But I just don't know if they match up right i mean he lives far away from her and I know how fast she can get attached to people and she ends up getting hurt by all these assholes... i dont know, i just don't want to see her get hurt anymore. And i'm the LAST person to be talking about "he lives too far away" because hey, i'm dating her best friend that lives about 8 blocks away from her and she lives 6 hours away... But still, i just dont want her to get hurt anymore. And i fucking HATE that she still likes my brother like really, HES AN ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! He only cares about himself and thats IT! He's not cute or charming or funny or nice he's a douche and i just wish she would see that. Because i hate that she is all sad over him i mean really there is NO reason to be. Really really really theres not.... But I dont know... I miss when she used to call me before anyone else and tell me she loved me and I was her best friend. And when she use to wanna skype me and make statuses on facebook about me. Maybe that's why I have been so sad lately. I like basically lost my best friend. Fuck /:
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But hey I'm gunna write down some good things of the day to liven my spirit!:
1) Adam skyped me for 2 hours
2) Saw Emily today
3) Played "pickle in the middle" with George
4) My dad got me a Frosty from Wendys
5) Reese made a slide show with me in it, made me feel un forgotten.
6) Had a beer.
7) Made Cinnamon Rolls.
8) Heard "Benny and the Jets" on the radio
9) Took a nice long shower
10) Started School.
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So yeah enough venting for now, i'm getting tired. Goodnight <3
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