Okay so I'm just going to cut right to the chase here... I am SO sick of Casey and his skank girlfriend Jessica. Like, seriously bitch don't add me on Facebook if your dating my ex boyfriend. Fuck off. Your a bitch and I hate you so don't add me EVER. God, she irritates me.
But, speaking of Casey I'm so over him. He's just an ass and that's what he will be forever. A pot smoking asshole.
And, speaking of pot. That shit is nasty... I hate when people use it or say "that they do". Like, A, have fun in rehab someday because your going to get addicted to it and deny that you are just like EVERYONE else I know that has had a problem with it. And, B, It pisses me off when you talk about it.
Okay... but anyways... I think I like Zane again. And I'm not going to lie it sucks. Because like I've said many, many times before... He lives so far away. And I can't do long distance relationships I just cant. I'm too needy and I get too sad when I know I cant see them all the time. But, he's just such a great guy and me and him get along perfectly and we don't argue ever. And he always knows what to say to make me feel better or make me smile when I'm crying. Last night for example.. I was Skyping him and I seriously did not stop smiling the whole time and that was over an hour. My cheeks literally were soar from smiling so much. So this situation just blows... why does he have to live far away? I don't understand the way God thinks sometimes... I always wonder why he had me meet him if he lives so far away... I wish I could like call God up and ask him questions like this. But I guess I'll have to figure it out myself. I have a lot to figure out.... /: I'm just confused on who I should be with.... D:
So yeah...
I love Reese! She's my best friend and I can't wait until I get to go up and see her in a few weeks! <3
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Venting #15: Done
Well... Im done. Im done trying to make things better because it seems like you really could give a shit less about me. You dont want to see me, talk to me or come over anymore. Its like im nothing.. well i guess if thats all i am to you then im done.
Thanks for the last 7 years.. thank you for being there for me. And im sorry i was such an awful friend, i mean i must have been since you dont give me the time if day anymore. So sorry for being an awful best friend. I hope you have a good life and find everything your looking for. So i guess thats it. Ill leave you alone. I can delete your number and off of facebook cause it probably wouldn't matter to you anyways.
Thanks for the last 7 years.. thank you for being there for me. And im sorry i was such an awful friend, i mean i must have been since you dont give me the time if day anymore. So sorry for being an awful best friend. I hope you have a good life and find everything your looking for. So i guess thats it. Ill leave you alone. I can delete your number and off of facebook cause it probably wouldn't matter to you anyways.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Venting #14- Dear Best Friend...
Dear Best Friend,
I just wanted to start off by saying that I love you with my whole heart. You are my best friend and you will always always be my best friend. I will never be able to thank you enough for always being there for me and always wiping away my tears and staying up all hours of the night to talk to me, I will never ever forget all those times and how much you have helped me. But, you need to know that I am done fighting to be in your life. Because I always feel like I have to fight to keep myself in your life, I feel like once I've become an important part of your life something happens and I have to fight for it again. Over and over and over. I don't want to have to fight for it anymore... It would just be nice to know that I'll always be part of your life and I'm not just going to be forgotten. I'm so sick of feeling forgotten by you. And, I'm not trying to be selfish... and I'm glad that you have new people in your life you care about but this is how it goes every single time... We become very, very close and it stays that way for a while until we get into a fight and then you meet someone else, get very, very close with them and then you barely remember I'm living and then sometime down the line you think "hey, i miss Sara" and then we talk and become close again. It happens over and over and over. And I'm just done... If you want a break from me.. fine. If you want me to leave you alone... fine. If you want me out of your life... fine, if thats what you wanted. But, just let me know these things straight up. Because I'm sick of playing these games. I'm sick of having to guess. If you want me to back off let me know. Because that's what I've been getting from you for the last week. I feel like I'm a nothing to you again. I feel like I should just leave you alone. And I guess thats what I'll do. Because you don't seem like you want to see me or talk to me. Oh I loved how excited you were to see me tonight too..... thanks for saying nothing to me. Thats what I expected though. Because now theres someone else in your life... and really, really, really I dont care that there is. I dont care that you talk to her, spend time with her whatever thats not the issue. The issue is when you stop talking to me. When you ignore me. When I feel like I'm just nothing to you. It makes me feel like I was the worst "best friend" ever... It hurts...
So basically what I'm saying... Is, I'm tired of these games. If you dont put any effort in talking to me.. why should I anymore? I'm done being the one that makes it better. If you still want me as your best friend let me know otherwise just keep ignoring me... I'll get the hint.
I just wanted to start off by saying that I love you with my whole heart. You are my best friend and you will always always be my best friend. I will never be able to thank you enough for always being there for me and always wiping away my tears and staying up all hours of the night to talk to me, I will never ever forget all those times and how much you have helped me. But, you need to know that I am done fighting to be in your life. Because I always feel like I have to fight to keep myself in your life, I feel like once I've become an important part of your life something happens and I have to fight for it again. Over and over and over. I don't want to have to fight for it anymore... It would just be nice to know that I'll always be part of your life and I'm not just going to be forgotten. I'm so sick of feeling forgotten by you. And, I'm not trying to be selfish... and I'm glad that you have new people in your life you care about but this is how it goes every single time... We become very, very close and it stays that way for a while until we get into a fight and then you meet someone else, get very, very close with them and then you barely remember I'm living and then sometime down the line you think "hey, i miss Sara" and then we talk and become close again. It happens over and over and over. And I'm just done... If you want a break from me.. fine. If you want me to leave you alone... fine. If you want me out of your life... fine, if thats what you wanted. But, just let me know these things straight up. Because I'm sick of playing these games. I'm sick of having to guess. If you want me to back off let me know. Because that's what I've been getting from you for the last week. I feel like I'm a nothing to you again. I feel like I should just leave you alone. And I guess thats what I'll do. Because you don't seem like you want to see me or talk to me. Oh I loved how excited you were to see me tonight too..... thanks for saying nothing to me. Thats what I expected though. Because now theres someone else in your life... and really, really, really I dont care that there is. I dont care that you talk to her, spend time with her whatever thats not the issue. The issue is when you stop talking to me. When you ignore me. When I feel like I'm just nothing to you. It makes me feel like I was the worst "best friend" ever... It hurts...
So basically what I'm saying... Is, I'm tired of these games. If you dont put any effort in talking to me.. why should I anymore? I'm done being the one that makes it better. If you still want me as your best friend let me know otherwise just keep ignoring me... I'll get the hint.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Venting #13- Friendships
I got through 11/11/11 without any alcohol, I am actually quite impressed with myself. And you might wonder what I would need alcohol for this date... Well, It happens to be the anniversary of Casey and Jessica. It was there 2 year anniversary. And not to mention the 2 year anniversary of the day I gave him my necklace back. Once I heard him and Jessica were serious and I heard he was going to ask her out I gave him his necklace back that he had given me. I'll never forget the look on his face, he looked hurt, crushed, the look you have when you realize the thing you had with someone is over. It wasn't over though, never will be for me, but he still thinks it is and I'm starting to be okay with that.
Friendship is a very fragile thing, just like love. Sometimes friendships turn into romance, sometimes they come crashing down. Sometimes they are made out of envy and greed and sometimes out of pity.
I'm having a lot of trouble with the "friendships turning into romance" area. I'm not sure if or who I have feelings for. I'm very confused... Maybe I just need to talk to someone about it because usually when I do and I go through and talk about each person in the end I know who to pick. Or maybe I just haven't found the right guy to date yet. I really don't know.
There's this guy that lives really far away but every time we Skype I always laugh and smile because I'm not afraid to be myself around him and time just gets lost when I talk to him. But, it didn't work last time we dated... its too hard for me to have a long distance relationship, I'm very needy and a huge cuddle bug.
Then there's another guy that lives close like 2 miles away and he makes me feel really special and pretty and he always puts me first and that really means a lot. And we always have really deep conversations and I'm not afraid to let everything out. But, his parents are rather judgmental and i know they wouldn't like me and I dont want to date someone who's parents think I'm not good enough.
And the last guy, I've known him for a very long time and he said he's loved me the whole time he's known me and that I was the girl he would pick over anyone. And I have this really bug attraction to him I always want to kiss him and I want him to hold me whenever I'm with him. But, he has a girlfriend and he can be very bipolar he says one thing but means another. Its just so complicated with him.
I'm really stuck in a rut here. I don't know what to do. I guess I need to see all of them. I haven't seen the first guy since June and the last 2 for 2 weeks. I just need to talk to them I guess and figure out where I stand with them. I just hate being so forward about it. But, I have to do what I have to do...
And since were talking about friendships... Me and my best friends friendship, is not doing so well right now. I love him so so so so fucking much, I love him with my whole damn heart. But, I'm just a little hurt by how he said I don't care... I wish he would stop saying that when we get into fights or when I get into my funks where I feel lost and I just don't want to talk to anyone. I hope he really knows I do care. I care about him more then anyone else. Me and him have gone through more things then I've gone through with anyone and we've always been by each others side no matter what. And I guess... I haven't been a very good friend lately, I've been cranky and irritable and mean. I've been really mean.... Oh shit.... this is all my fault. I've been so distant and lost. I just... I'm not sure who I am sometimes. I want to be so much more successful and outgoing then I am but I just don't know how, I just feel lost, alone and confused right now. And he's the only constant I've had and most of the time I push around my constant and I push them away and... I guess its a test I do, to see if they will really stay even when I've pushed them to the extreme and hurt them. And he always has stayed. Always. I need to text him, Fuck.. I wish he was up right now.
Gotta go.
Friendship is a very fragile thing, just like love. Sometimes friendships turn into romance, sometimes they come crashing down. Sometimes they are made out of envy and greed and sometimes out of pity.
I'm having a lot of trouble with the "friendships turning into romance" area. I'm not sure if or who I have feelings for. I'm very confused... Maybe I just need to talk to someone about it because usually when I do and I go through and talk about each person in the end I know who to pick. Or maybe I just haven't found the right guy to date yet. I really don't know.
There's this guy that lives really far away but every time we Skype I always laugh and smile because I'm not afraid to be myself around him and time just gets lost when I talk to him. But, it didn't work last time we dated... its too hard for me to have a long distance relationship, I'm very needy and a huge cuddle bug.
Then there's another guy that lives close like 2 miles away and he makes me feel really special and pretty and he always puts me first and that really means a lot. And we always have really deep conversations and I'm not afraid to let everything out. But, his parents are rather judgmental and i know they wouldn't like me and I dont want to date someone who's parents think I'm not good enough.
And the last guy, I've known him for a very long time and he said he's loved me the whole time he's known me and that I was the girl he would pick over anyone. And I have this really bug attraction to him I always want to kiss him and I want him to hold me whenever I'm with him. But, he has a girlfriend and he can be very bipolar he says one thing but means another. Its just so complicated with him.
I'm really stuck in a rut here. I don't know what to do. I guess I need to see all of them. I haven't seen the first guy since June and the last 2 for 2 weeks. I just need to talk to them I guess and figure out where I stand with them. I just hate being so forward about it. But, I have to do what I have to do...
And since were talking about friendships... Me and my best friends friendship, is not doing so well right now. I love him so so so so fucking much, I love him with my whole damn heart. But, I'm just a little hurt by how he said I don't care... I wish he would stop saying that when we get into fights or when I get into my funks where I feel lost and I just don't want to talk to anyone. I hope he really knows I do care. I care about him more then anyone else. Me and him have gone through more things then I've gone through with anyone and we've always been by each others side no matter what. And I guess... I haven't been a very good friend lately, I've been cranky and irritable and mean. I've been really mean.... Oh shit.... this is all my fault. I've been so distant and lost. I just... I'm not sure who I am sometimes. I want to be so much more successful and outgoing then I am but I just don't know how, I just feel lost, alone and confused right now. And he's the only constant I've had and most of the time I push around my constant and I push them away and... I guess its a test I do, to see if they will really stay even when I've pushed them to the extreme and hurt them. And he always has stayed. Always. I need to text him, Fuck.. I wish he was up right now.
Gotta go.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Venting #12- My Mind
So today, I went grocery shopping and got eggnog and apple cider! Fuck yeah <3 And I found a recipe for spiked apple cider and guess what its spiked with... Crown Royal! And I have some! Yes! And I also Skyped Zane and Reese and then after Reese when to bed I just skyped zane for like 2 hours (:
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So this idea just jumped into my brain... I think for Christmas I'm going to repaint Emily's room and get her a new comforter and stuff :D
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But anyways... Lately I've really been thinking a lot about the beginning of summer. I really miss it. I miss my Reese and I miss my Llogie bear and I miss my David. I hate that all of us never ever ever talk. We all used to be such good friends.. like wtf. It makes me really sad. Reese was my best best best friend I told her absolutely everything and I called her like 3 times a day. And now we maybe shoot eachother 20 texts a day. I mean, she still is my best friend but we're really distant. And I miss the shit out of her. I miss skyping like every second and when she comes to visit me. And I love when she crushes up Butterfingers into my icecream and feeds it to me when I'm sick <3
And David, shit, I'd hang out with him and Adam like every fucking day and now I dont even hear from him, and I miss him. He's really helped me through a lot and was always there to hold me when I cry and hold my hand if I got really upset. Like, the night we had to go to fuck faces house to get Reese's stuff and I didn't want to see creeper so he held my hand the whole way there and back so I'd know someone was there. And that same night when we got back to Adams and Llogan was like forcing me to talk about it and I didnt want to, he stood up for me and held me tight when I cried. That just really meant a lot to me.
And Llogan, well, I did have a pretty big crush on him. He just made me feel special and believe it or not he even helped me get over Casey a little. Because when I had a crush on Casey I would always get nervous when he would come over and, Casey lived next door to my best friend at the time.. Funny huh? So, it just helped me get over him because I realized I actually can have a crush on someone like that again. And Llogan helped me on one of the scariest nights of my life. He was the one that picked up my phone call and for that I am FOREVER greatful.
So... I just really miss them a lot. I could honestly start crying right now. I miss "the group" a lot. But, no one could ever replace any of them no matter how distant we might get. <3 And thats the truth.
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Yeah, so... My mind is very very complicated. Right as I think I've got things figured out... BAM! Nope, I change my mind. I tend to do that a lot. I change my mind a lot. I really need to figure things out. Because in all honesty I've been leading some people on. And I have no idea where my feelings lye. I'm being too much like my dad, we've been hurt our whole lifes so we tend to hurt other people because well... this is sick to admit... but I think there's this part inside of us where we want to hurt other people because we want them to feel the pain we've been feeling for years. And you know what, yes... Its AWFUL. BITCHY. DISGUSTING. But, its not intentional. Its just what we do. We cheat. We put up walls. We lead people on. We can't get close because everyone hurts us so we ignore them and find reasons to leave them.
I can't stop it. Its this mad insane cycle that never ends. But I really don't mean to... I don't want to hurt anyone intentionally.
But I guess I hurt Adams feelings because he "feels like" I don't care anymore... Like, I'm sorry but what the fuck... that pissed me off so hardcore I flipped dick. I just can't believe he said I don't care... again. I do. I just have been crabby because of the time of month. And I feel like all I'm doing is leading him on with my constant obsessive calling and texting and cuddling.. I feel guilty because he's my best friend and thats how I want things to stay between us.. Best Friends. So I feel like I need to stop the cuddling, kissing, constant calling and texting. I didn't stop texting him because "I dont care" thats not it at all... I love him with all my heart... But I think he might love me in a different way then I love him... But thats my fault.. I was leading him on without even really realizing it. So I'm stopping that. I feel so bad though. Shit...
I'm also really confused on who I like.. I'm not sure if I like anyone or not... I think I might have a crush on someone but I'm not sure.. I'll find out soon enough though. And if I end up not liking anyone I guess thats okay too.. guys make my brain go nuts.. I could use a break xD But then again I really wouldn't mind being able to cuddle up with someone thats actually "mine" and what not. I wont go on about this again because I have in like every other post xD
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Lately I've been Listening to "Shinedown" I really like these two songs: "The Crow and The Butterfly" and "Call Me" <3
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Reese and Zane said that they are going to try and come down for my birthday! I hope they can! That would be amazing (: 57 days!
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Christmas is in 44 days <3
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Today fucking blows... You know whats on this date? Casey and Jessica's 2 year anniversary. Yup... I'm getting drunk.
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Now I'm gunna watch Family Guy :D
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So this idea just jumped into my brain... I think for Christmas I'm going to repaint Emily's room and get her a new comforter and stuff :D
-----------------------------------------------------------
But anyways... Lately I've really been thinking a lot about the beginning of summer. I really miss it. I miss my Reese and I miss my Llogie bear and I miss my David. I hate that all of us never ever ever talk. We all used to be such good friends.. like wtf. It makes me really sad. Reese was my best best best friend I told her absolutely everything and I called her like 3 times a day. And now we maybe shoot eachother 20 texts a day. I mean, she still is my best friend but we're really distant. And I miss the shit out of her. I miss skyping like every second and when she comes to visit me. And I love when she crushes up Butterfingers into my icecream and feeds it to me when I'm sick <3
And David, shit, I'd hang out with him and Adam like every fucking day and now I dont even hear from him, and I miss him. He's really helped me through a lot and was always there to hold me when I cry and hold my hand if I got really upset. Like, the night we had to go to fuck faces house to get Reese's stuff and I didn't want to see creeper so he held my hand the whole way there and back so I'd know someone was there. And that same night when we got back to Adams and Llogan was like forcing me to talk about it and I didnt want to, he stood up for me and held me tight when I cried. That just really meant a lot to me.
And Llogan, well, I did have a pretty big crush on him. He just made me feel special and believe it or not he even helped me get over Casey a little. Because when I had a crush on Casey I would always get nervous when he would come over and, Casey lived next door to my best friend at the time.. Funny huh? So, it just helped me get over him because I realized I actually can have a crush on someone like that again. And Llogan helped me on one of the scariest nights of my life. He was the one that picked up my phone call and for that I am FOREVER greatful.
So... I just really miss them a lot. I could honestly start crying right now. I miss "the group" a lot. But, no one could ever replace any of them no matter how distant we might get. <3 And thats the truth.
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Yeah, so... My mind is very very complicated. Right as I think I've got things figured out... BAM! Nope, I change my mind. I tend to do that a lot. I change my mind a lot. I really need to figure things out. Because in all honesty I've been leading some people on. And I have no idea where my feelings lye. I'm being too much like my dad, we've been hurt our whole lifes so we tend to hurt other people because well... this is sick to admit... but I think there's this part inside of us where we want to hurt other people because we want them to feel the pain we've been feeling for years. And you know what, yes... Its AWFUL. BITCHY. DISGUSTING. But, its not intentional. Its just what we do. We cheat. We put up walls. We lead people on. We can't get close because everyone hurts us so we ignore them and find reasons to leave them.
I can't stop it. Its this mad insane cycle that never ends. But I really don't mean to... I don't want to hurt anyone intentionally.
But I guess I hurt Adams feelings because he "feels like" I don't care anymore... Like, I'm sorry but what the fuck... that pissed me off so hardcore I flipped dick. I just can't believe he said I don't care... again. I do. I just have been crabby because of the time of month. And I feel like all I'm doing is leading him on with my constant obsessive calling and texting and cuddling.. I feel guilty because he's my best friend and thats how I want things to stay between us.. Best Friends. So I feel like I need to stop the cuddling, kissing, constant calling and texting. I didn't stop texting him because "I dont care" thats not it at all... I love him with all my heart... But I think he might love me in a different way then I love him... But thats my fault.. I was leading him on without even really realizing it. So I'm stopping that. I feel so bad though. Shit...
I'm also really confused on who I like.. I'm not sure if I like anyone or not... I think I might have a crush on someone but I'm not sure.. I'll find out soon enough though. And if I end up not liking anyone I guess thats okay too.. guys make my brain go nuts.. I could use a break xD But then again I really wouldn't mind being able to cuddle up with someone thats actually "mine" and what not. I wont go on about this again because I have in like every other post xD
------------------------------------------------------
Lately I've been Listening to "Shinedown" I really like these two songs: "The Crow and The Butterfly" and "Call Me" <3
-------------------------------------------------------
Reese and Zane said that they are going to try and come down for my birthday! I hope they can! That would be amazing (: 57 days!
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Christmas is in 44 days <3
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Today fucking blows... You know whats on this date? Casey and Jessica's 2 year anniversary. Yup... I'm getting drunk.
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Now I'm gunna watch Family Guy :D
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Venting #11- Love
Love is the weirdest thing ever. It really just confuses the crap out of me. One day I think I'm in love but then the next day I'm like, "No fuck that! Love sucks" and then other days I'm just dying to be in love. And today, I'm dying to be in love. I miss it so much. I miss being able to kiss and hold someone. I want someone to make me feel like no one else can. Someone to make me feel so loved and so special, and someone that is so romantic and takes me on surprise dates and whispers sweet things into my ear. Holds my hand when I least expect it. Kisses me when we're fighting. Gives me butterflies every moment I'm with them. Holds me when I cry. And someone to take care of me.
And I mean.. there's a few guys I could date right now. But, I don't want to date people just to date them. I want that feeling where if I didn't have them I feel like I might just die. I want to date someone that I feel like I can't be without, and that I have that warm fuzzy feeling when I'm with them. Someone I IMMEDIATELY have strong feelings for. I can't remember the last time I felt like that. But I want to again, so so so bad. Romantic movies make me so sad... Its like WHY CAN'T THAT HAPPEN TO ME?!?! Ugh... I watched the Last Song tonight and that movie is SO cute. She met him when she least expected to, he takes care of her, kisses her when they fight, takes care of her brother, carves their names into a tree, sits in the back of his truck and talk, writes "forever" on her shoe, dances with her, playfully has a mud fight with her.. Oh my gosh, PERFECT. I'm just so ready to find that one person I want to spend the rest of my life with because I'm just ready to be in love and be happy everyday.
I'm sick of being lonely and being stuck at my house most of the time. I miss love. And for once I just want someone to take care of me for a change. Someone to put me to sleep, someone to shut off the lights and lock the doors for me, someone to carry me to bed when I'm tired. Someone to tell me everything will be okay because they will never leave me. Someone to wake me up in the mornings. Someone that actually wants to go to the pumpkin patch or apple orchard or the movies or something, someone that would actually plan dates for us sometimes. Someone that loves my Sister or Dad as much as I do.
I know it seems like I'm asking for a lot. But I just want someone to be there for me and take care of me and love me unconditionally forever. And I hope I can find someone like that soon.
So, that's about all.
Oh, and btw... This is my favorite song at the moment. I love the lyrics, music video, and overall message of it <3
And I mean.. there's a few guys I could date right now. But, I don't want to date people just to date them. I want that feeling where if I didn't have them I feel like I might just die. I want to date someone that I feel like I can't be without, and that I have that warm fuzzy feeling when I'm with them. Someone I IMMEDIATELY have strong feelings for. I can't remember the last time I felt like that. But I want to again, so so so bad. Romantic movies make me so sad... Its like WHY CAN'T THAT HAPPEN TO ME?!?! Ugh... I watched the Last Song tonight and that movie is SO cute. She met him when she least expected to, he takes care of her, kisses her when they fight, takes care of her brother, carves their names into a tree, sits in the back of his truck and talk, writes "forever" on her shoe, dances with her, playfully has a mud fight with her.. Oh my gosh, PERFECT. I'm just so ready to find that one person I want to spend the rest of my life with because I'm just ready to be in love and be happy everyday.
I'm sick of being lonely and being stuck at my house most of the time. I miss love. And for once I just want someone to take care of me for a change. Someone to put me to sleep, someone to shut off the lights and lock the doors for me, someone to carry me to bed when I'm tired. Someone to tell me everything will be okay because they will never leave me. Someone to wake me up in the mornings. Someone that actually wants to go to the pumpkin patch or apple orchard or the movies or something, someone that would actually plan dates for us sometimes. Someone that loves my Sister or Dad as much as I do.
I know it seems like I'm asking for a lot. But I just want someone to be there for me and take care of me and love me unconditionally forever. And I hope I can find someone like that soon.
So, that's about all.
Oh, and btw... This is my favorite song at the moment. I love the lyrics, music video, and overall message of it <3
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Venting #10- Heart Ache
Ouch... this just made me cry for an hour. Fuck Myspace... It just reminds me of him and how much I loved him.. and how much he loved me /:
Fuck me! Dammit! I hate love. Cause guess why.. you love someone with your whole heart and you end up getting hurt. Thanks Myspace for reminding me not to ever fall in love or trust anyone ever again.
No one ever reads my blogs anyways but if theres someone whos actually reading this and wants to read me and Caseys conversation from 2 years ago... have fun. Start at the bottom of the conversation. Cause this is some old ass Myspace formats.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Sara. /:
To: kC
Date: Mar 31, 2009 10:30 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Lol, Cute (:
Well, I Really Really Like You Tooo.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: kC
To: Sara. /:
Date: Mar 31, 2009 10:29 PM
Subject: RE: (:
most of the time, i just really really like you (;
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Sara. /:
To: kC
Date: Mar 31, 2009 10:23 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Danggg Every Single Time?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!
Hehehehehehehe (:
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: kC
To: Sara. /:
Date: Mar 31, 2009 10:20 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Yeah everytime :D
ha im getting them just talking about it (;
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Sara. /:
To: kC
Date: Mar 31, 2009 10:16 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Really?!?!?!?!?? :DD
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: kC
To: Sara. /:
Date: Mar 31, 2009 10:14 PM
Subject: RE: (:
(; ha thats funny because when ever i know im going to see you i get butterflies, especialy when im walking to aylas and i know your there<3
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Sara. /:
To: kC
Date: Mar 31, 2009 10:07 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Yeah! I Always Do When I Think Of Youuu. (:
<333
Lmao Thanks Its My Fav Shirtt (;
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: kC
To: Sara. /:
Date: Mar 31, 2009 10:03 PM
Subject: RE: (:
:D did you really?!
(; i love you so much ill always love you<33
oh yea i like that shirt your wearing in that picture(:
And your eyes i've never seen eyes like yours i love them(; i guess i just really love that pic of you (;
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Sara. /:
To: kC
Date: Mar 31, 2009 9:54 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Well Stop Thinking About Me & Do Your Homework! (:
Really??
(:
Dayummmm I Just Got Butterflies In My Tummy (:
I Love You So Fucking Muchh.
& Your Everything I've Ever Wanted. Ferr Real. Your Amazing (:
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: kC
To: Sara. /:
Date: Mar 31, 2009 9:49 PM
Subject: RE: (:
:D your all im thinking of ha i can't even do my homework now(:
I love you like i've never loved anyone before<3
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Sara. /:
To: kC
Date: Mar 31, 2009 9:39 PM
Subject: RE: (:
I Love You CDL<3
With All My Heart (: <3
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: kC
To: Sara. /:
Date: Mar 31, 2009 9:37 PM
Subject: RE: (:
(: I LOVE YOU SCAN<3
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Sara. /:
To: kC
Date: Mar 31, 2009 9:31 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Idunnooo About That (:
I Love You A Wholeeeeeee Lot (:
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: kC
To: Sara. /:
Date: Mar 31, 2009 9:29 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Your wrong :)
I Love You So Much More (:
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Sara. /:
To: kC
Date: Mar 31, 2009 9:27 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Nawwwwww (:
I Wuvv Yeww Wayy More (:
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: kC
To: Sara. /:
Date: Mar 31, 2009 9:26 PM
Subject: RE: (:
(; Well I Wuv You More ;)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Sara. /:
To: kC
Date: Mar 31, 2009 9:23 PM
Subject: RE: (:
Wow!
Whatevsss (:
Heheee
I Wuvv Yewww (:
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CIDDLE (11-11-09<3) says
:D I wuvv You to <3SARA<3 !
Mar 3, 2009
SimplySara<3 says
Awwww! :D
I Wuvv You Casey! :D
Mar 3, 2009
CIDDLE (11-11-09<3) says
(; Of course really!:) I cant even explain how much you mean to me like no joke(:
Mar 3, 2009
SimplySara<3 says
:DDDDDDDD
Really?
Mar 3, 2009
CIDDLE (11-11-09<3) says
:) You really dont know how much that means to here you say that (; I never want to loose you again either idk what i would do without you.
Mar 3, 2009
SimplySara<3 says
Yes Really. (:
I Love You So Much Casey.. (:
I Don't Ever Wanna Loose You.
I Really Really Don't, You Mean The World To Me.
Mar 3, 2009
CIDDLE (11-11-09<3) says
:D Really?! That means so much for you to say that:) You mean everything to me:) I would do anything for you(;
Mar 3, 2009
SimplySara<3 says
I Love You Too Casey Dwight Luoma (:
You Mean More To Me Then You Will Ever Know (:
Mar 3, 2009
CIDDLE (11-11-09<3) says
:D i really do love you so much! :) SARA CHRISTINE ANN NEUMANN<3 :D
Mar 3, 2009
SimplySara<3 says
AWW! (:
Samee Heree!! :DDD
Mar 3, 2009
CIDDLE (11-11-09<3) says
:)FOR REALLLLLLLL!:) I cant get you off my mind:)
Mar 3, 2009
SimplySara<3 says
):
Awwwww :DDD
For Real? (:
Mar 3, 2009
CIDDLE (11-11-09<3) says
Lots of stuff:( but mostly you:)
Mar 3, 2009
SimplySara<3 says
Lots Of Shit /:
Whats On Yours?
Mar 3, 2009
CIDDLE (11-11-09<3) says
Haha me too cause now im in a pissy mood haha:):/ So whats on your mind?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So there ya have it. I'm so mad at myself... I was almost over him too.. and let me clarify. When I say "Over him" I mean im over wanting him to come back to me and im over waiting for him because it wont happen. He fell for my best friend. That seems to happen a lot. And people wonder why I dont have any friends that are girls. I can't fucking trust them... But, I'll never ever ever not love Casey. Cause you bet your ass I will love him until the day I die. And I really mean that. I will never stop loving him. Ever. He'll always be "The one that got away"
That boy still has my heart. And probably always will. Unless some day, if theres a guy brave enough to steal it back from him. I'm waiting for him. Patiently.
I have the biggest fucking headache ever now. Thanks tears and heartache...
So basically this is whats up... If your going to come into my life, you better plan on staying in it. And if your just gunna leave me someday. Go fuck yourself and don't waste my time. I can't take much more of this getting to know someone, loving them and then they leave. I'm done with it.
Thankyou and Goodnight.
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